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150 Sarcastic Quotes so you can’t stop Sarcasming

As an INFP, I usually tend to show my creativity while talking to someone. I expect that by reading the title you know what ‘CREATIVE’ here means. Trust me, if used uncautiously, it can cost you relationships. As quoted rightly by Oscar Wilde “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence”. So, we have taken pains to gather the best sarcastic quotes for you.

None the less you should try on sarcasm as it forces your brain to think before you speak. You should always practice your sarcasm skills on someone who knows you well. A series of research studies have shown that a negative statement with a sarcasm topping is considered more derogatory than the one stated bluntly. So, for that specific reason, we insist you to use some of these sarcasm quotes whenever you feel someone annoying or even feel like killing someone (not literally).

Whatever it may be sarcasm can be a great source of entertainment as well and we have gathered a handful of sarcastic quotes for you that you might find interesting. So, if there’s any sarcasm quote that you find interesting then do let us know in the comments below.

Sarcastic Quotes

You are offended by the things I say? Imagine the stuff I hold back.

– Anonymous

I’m going to hell in so many different religions.

– Anonymous

People ask me, “Why are you single? You’re attractive, intelligent and creative.” My reply is “I’m overqualified.”

– Anonymous

Sarcasm: Because murder charges are expensive.

– Anonymous

Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have Alzheimer’s.

– Anonymous

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

– Alan Dundes

light travels faster than sound sarcastic quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

– Groucho Marx

The whole purpose of sending a text is to get a reply within seconds or minutes, otherwise, I would have sent a letter by fucking mail.

– Anonymous

If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.

– James Smart

My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them answers they don’t know.

– Anonymous

I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways.

– Anonymous

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

– Anonymous

you look good when your eyes are closed sarcastic quotes

Babies are so lucky. They can sleep all day and everyone still would be proud of them.

– Anonymous

Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.

– Anonymous

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

– Anonymous

Sarcasm Quotes

Oh… I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.

– Anonymous

I don’t care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive.

– Anonymous

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

– Anonymous

mirrors cant talk lucky for you they cant laugh either sarcastic quotes

If the teacher tells you to get out, it means you have won the argument.

– Anonymous

Expect nothing and you’ll never be disappointed!

– Tonya Hurley

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

– Anonymous

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

– Anonymous

I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

– Anonymous

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’ll be poor.

– Anonymous

if I had a dollar for every smart thing you say sarcastic quotes

I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat.

– Bill Murray

Behind every successful person, there’s a lot of unsuccessful years.

– Bob Brown

Epic Sarcastic Quotes

Question: Do you know who I am?

Answer: No. Why? Have you forgotten?

– Anonymous

*Me washing my car*

Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?

Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.

– Anonymous

You’re unique just like everyone else.

– Margaret Meade

I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.

– Anonymous

i dont believe in plastic surgery sarcastic quotes

Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

– Anonymous

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

– Anonymous

There’s no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

– Anonymous

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah me neither.

– Anonymous

You know what I like about people? Their dogs.

– Anonymous

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

– Stephen Bishop

i feel so miserable without you sarcastic quotes

I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.

– Anonymous

Abracadabra! Nope. You’re still a b**ch.

– Anonymous

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.

– Anonymous

Dark Sarcastic Quotes

Grammar. The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

– Anonymous

Life is a soup and I’m a freaking fork.

– Anonymous

Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

– Anonymous

sarcasm the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it sarcastic quotes

In order to insult me, I must value your opinion. Nice try though.

– Anonymous

I’ve got heels higher than your standards.

– Anonymous

Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.

– Zara Larsson

I don’t have a bad temper. I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.

– Elizabeth Taylor

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. So, act like it.

– Anonymous

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

– Ashleigh Brilliant

sometimes i need what only you can provide your absence sarcastic quotes

I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

– Anonymous

Here’s a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

– Anonymous

Some more Awesome Quotes on Sarcasm

Only dead fish go with the flow.

– Andy Hunt

Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.

– Anonymous

If I say “First of all”. Run away because I have prepared research, data, and charts and will destroy you.

– Anonymous

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

– Anonymous

people say that laughter is the best medicine sarcastic quotes

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job?

Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.

– Anonymous

I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than f*ck.

– Anonymous

We all have problems. Some of us just choose not to post them on Facebook.

– Anonymous

It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces every day.

– Anonymous

Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

– Patricia Briggs

Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.

– Anonymous

lets share you will take the grenade i will take the pin sarcasm quotes

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

– Anonymous

Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again.

– Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes about Life

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

– Anonymous

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever works.

– Anonymous

Good judgment comes from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from poor judgment.

– Robert Byrne

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

– Venkat Desireddy

dont worry about what people think sarcasm quotes

I need a cocktail. Hold the tail.

– Anonymous

I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you my friend, are the f*cking cactus.

– Anonymous

I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.

– Anonymous

My loyalty cannot be bought. However, it can be rented.

– Anonymous

I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.

– Anonymous

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

– Earl Wilson

if you think nobody cares if you are alive sarcasm quotes

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?

Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

– Anonymous

You: Do you think I am stupid?

Me: It’s not your fault.

– Anonymous

Person 1: Can I ask you a question?

Person 2: You just did!

– Anonymous

Some more Sarcastic Quotes and Sarcasm Sayings

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

– Anonymous

Oh. I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.

– Anonymous

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

– Anonymous

i clapped because its finished not because i like it sarcasm quotes

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

– Anonymous

Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

– Regina Brett

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

– Anonymous

Hey! I had shoes like those once. Then my father got a job.

– Anonymous

You are about as useful as a white crayon.

– Anonymous

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

– Anonymous

i am busy right now can i ignore you some other time sarcasm quotes

Don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.

– Jay-Z

You inspire my inner serial killer.

– Anonymous

If you are cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?

– Anonymous

I don’t hate you. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.

– Anonymous

My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. I just know it.

– Anonymous

Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.

– Anonymous

sarcasm because beating the crap out of people is illegal sarcasm quotes

I’m not saying I hate you. But I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

– Anonymous

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

– Anonymous

Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.

– Anonymous

Apology accepted. Trust denied.

– Anonymous

You, sir, are the human version of period cramps.

– Anonymous

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face with words.

– Anonymous

Always try to keep yourself away from negativity and wherever possible use an awesome sarcastic quote to show your anger or hatred towards anyone.

So that was all from our side on this awesome collection of sarcasm quotes. Hope you had a good time dwelling through the collection of these quotes and have got an appropriate one to pitch to someone. Also, do comment down your favorite sarcastic quote which you would definitely love to share with others. Till then stay tuned and keep visiting this post as we keep on updating the collection of sarcasm quotes frequently.

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